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Tuesday, September 19, 2017

"Wonder Woman": 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'



From TheGoodTheBadandTheUgly.Ca, take a look @ 'the good, the bad and the ugly' in director Patty Jenkins' comic book adaptation "Wonder Woman", starring Gal Gadot as 'Diana Of Themyscira':


MICHAEL STEVENS FOR THE GOOD:


"'Merciful Minerva', it is true that many of us were rooting for dimpled Audrey Hepburn look-alike Gal Gadot...



"...to give us a decent portrayal, in her first stand-alone 'Wonder Woman' feature...


"...after her exciting tease in 'Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice'.


"And Gadot does not disappoint, delivering the goods as a sweet and sexy, smirking action star...


"...in a 'girl power' film about 'love and compassion'...


"...despite stacks of lantern-jawed WW I 'enemy' corpses, dying in a cold blue 'No Man's Land'...


"...feeling more like 'Saving Private Ryan', than the world of Lynda Carter. 


"But Gadot makes the most of what she's got, with great leaps and bounds...


"...coming across as the most inspiring battlefield cheerleader...



"...since Milla Jovovich as 'Joan Of Arc', with enough scene-stealing energy and physical cred...


"...to carry this DC Comics adaptation on her supermodel shoulders..


"In the first of many flashbacks, it was good to see beefed-up Connie Nielsen, almost unrecognizable as 'Queen Hippolyta'...


"...flexing more like 'Barbarian Queen' than 'Lucilla' from 'Gladiator'...


"...re-telling the story of the 'Amazons' and the Greek gods, impressively realized by illustrator Houston Sharp...


"...with Old Master-type animated oil paintings.


"I also also enjoyed the Amazons prepping for war, with lithe Diana trained by crusty Robin Wright...


"...and the ensuing pay-off battle sequences...


"...taking slo-mo cues from Zack Snyder's '300'.


"Danny Huston is good as a repulsive enemy General...


"...although the last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.


"And Elena Anaya as jigsaw-faced 'Kleb' wannabe', 'Dr. Poison' is as hideous as they come.


"Composer Rupert-Gregson-Williams provides a thrilling score, as does contributions from cellist Tina Guo , who introduced her exotic, hot-blooded, 'Wonder Woman' theme, in 'Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice', getting the full treatment here, adding a balance to the numerous, original VFX action sequences.


"And although 'Aphrodite' forbids 'Amazons' to let any man dominate them, I will say this...


"...'Wonder Woman' is a movie directed by a woman...


"...from a story and screenplay created by men...


"...to empower female fans...


"...and to all the boys that love them..." 




GRAF ORLOK FOR THE BAD


"OK, I submit that eye-candy Gal Gadot is a 'full package' in this PG-13 -rated comic book movie, with its scenes of violence, original action sequences and 'suggestive' content.


"But Suffering Sappho! Do 'Steve' and 'Diana' ever have sex .. 


"...more than some overnight spooning after they share a tender kiss (?!)


"And although Gadot's juicy-fruit lips and slinky body seem to flip everybody out wherever she goes...


"...what the hell happened to all that William Moulton Marston canonical 'Wonder Woman' drool, about the pleasures of chains and bondage...



"...besides that delightful 'Lasso of Truth', complimenting Gadot's tight rear, peeking out of her 'girdle' ?




"I also can't understand why there is a call-to-arms from today's hirsute feminists, going ape because of Diana's' peachy, clean-shaved armpits... 


"Really ladies, not since Brigitte Nielsen as 'Red Sonya' has there been such a smooth and sleek warrior princess as Gadot's Diana..." 


"And I am confident that this blade will kill..." 

 

JANE DOBERMAN FOR THE UGLY


"All-Wise 'Athena' help me get this right:


"That's right 'Sherman', We set the 'wayback machine' to the year 1918, where ''Wonder Woman' shows how 'love can save the world'..


"...while the beckoning, bloody battlefields of Europe during World War I...


"...will eventually make her free to destroy like a man.


"But the first man she does see, in that 'I Dream Of Jeannie' moment , is William Shatner impersonator Chris Pine as 'Steve Trevor', so underplayed here, he could be doing the limbo, crash landing a stolen plane and washing up onto a beach...


"...before being discovered by 'Diana of Themyscira'.


"Now I did find Robin Wright as 'Antiope' to be the most amusing takeaway from this film, getting into her over-the-top accent and limb hacking sword play...


"...doing her fair share of vicious killings and more...


"...but in press interviews rambles on about how we must preach love and not hate... and that 
'Wonder Woman' stands for 'peace'...Uh huh... 


"Anyway, after sitting through numerous skirmishes and disturbing killings, there is a final parting shot, showing how both 'Wonder Woman' and her female audience have evolved, as 'Diana Prince' is now a successful, corporate-type with red nails and  'de riguer', melon sized breasts !



"As for this whole sword 'n sandals', femme warrior thing, although Gadot is as cute as a button, thanks to those skin tight genes she inherited from her father, the immortal 'Zeus'....


"...there's something about 'Conan The Barbarian' actress Sandahl Bergman as the tough and graceful 'Valeria' that begs the question , 'Do you want to live forever'...?