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Saturday, April 01, 2017

"Logan" - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly



From the movie review site TheGoodTheBadandtheUgly.Ca, Sneak Peek the good, the bad and the ugly in director James Mangold's comic book adaptation "Logan", starring Hugh Jackman as Marvel Comics' 'Wolverine':


MICHAEL STEVENS FOR: THE GOOD


"R-Rated for 'strong brutal violence and language', actor Hugh Jackman cuts like a knife, in the part he was born to play, carving his initials into another fierce performance as Marvel's mutant 'Wolverine'.


"In the near future, the scarred, 150 year old, adamantium-clawed 'Old Man Logan' is reduced to guzzling liquor and cranking drugs, while his self-healing regenerative powers continue to wane.


"Logan picks up petty cash in El Paso as a driver for hire, while hunkering down in an industrial plant on a stretch of the Mexican border.


"His hideout companions include the 'Nosferatu'-looking clairvoyant 'Caliban' (Stephen Merchant)...


"...and the foul, abusive, Alzheimer stricken 'Charles Xavier' (Patrick Stewart), slowly going out of his mind, while driving everyone else crazy with his time-altering, seismic seizures.


"Reluctant to go down that road, Logan agrees to long-haul 11-year old 'Laura' (Dafne Keen) and Xavier into Canada for $20,000 cash upfront...


"...but is disappointed to discover the final destination is only a fictitious safe-haven depicted in an 'X-Men' comic book.


"Following several bungled attempts by the 'Reavers' military contractors to capture the girl...


"...Laura is revealed as a feral-kid killing machine, with a deadly fighting style that makes 'Hit-Girl' look like chopped liver. 


"And like all the freshly decapitated heads rolling along the ground, this apple doesn't fall far from the tree...


"...after Big Daddy Logan realizes the DNA connection to his clone daughter.


"But this may not be the last hurrah for Jackman's Wolverine on the big screen. 


"As we are still 12 years away from the 2029 time-line events in 'Logan'... SNIKT! ..."

GRAF ORLOK FOR: THE BAD


"Michael, I agree, this Wolverine's got claws and he knows how to use them, in one choreographed, gamer-style killing spree after another...


"...slicing, dicing and tearing up each scene with a ferocious presence...


"...delivering a primal scream, until sadly, Logan himself gets hacked up like so much deli brisket.


"As for Laura, aka 'X-23', I didn't know they could stack shit that high...


"...with a viscerally cool performance as a homicidal 'Tasmanian Devil'...


"All this despite a dysfunctional father, daughter relationship...


"...and all those unresolved anger management issues. 


"But I did get off on the 'Mad Max'  car chases...


"...and the non-stop swearing from the leads, with 'fuck this', 'fuck that', every second word coming out of the mouths of both 'Logan' and 'Xavier'. 


"Logan I can understand, but the saintly 'Professor X' ???  Geez', do you kiss your mother with that dirty mouth ? 


"As far as the advertised 'brief nudity' in this picture, if your idea of entertainment is looking at Hugh Jackman's hairy ass, than 'Te salut, Don Corleone'..."

JANE DOBERMAN FOR: THE UGLY


"Hey Graf, I dig the 'finer points' of this comic book movie, where a day without blood is like a day without sunshine, but was it really necessary to take out an innocent family who shelter our heroes at the insistence of a demented 'Xavier', who just wants to know 'what it would be like to live with a family in a nice home'. 


"Uh, 'Professor X': Liberalism IS a mental disorder, yah think ?


"Then director Mangold breaks a few more eggs for his Western omelette, including a clip, with a grand parallel, showcasing Alan Ladd as 'Shane', the reluctant cowboy gunfighter, convinced by a young kid, to muster up his courage and just 'do the right thing', despite the risks to life and limb....



"Seriously if you can feel for a psychotic 'Edward Scissorhands' Cuisinart, who never knew her killer Papa in a world where blood is thicker than water...


"Cut to the chase, put those knives down...and run to see 'Logan'..."



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